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December Finding Lifestyle Blog Circle | Low light

It's been 7 months since my sweet miracle Zoe came home. 7 months of our new normal. I can't believe how far she has come, how far we all have come. From 20 minutes a day off the ventilator to 16 hours a day off and on the fast track to getting rid of her "jewellery".

I enjoy these quiet moments at night when the house is still and both of my babies are sleeping soundly. It's more peaceful these days. Everyone has adjusted to life with Zoe here. We, as parents are more relaxed, knowing with certainty that Zoe will have a future and a childhood. There are more hours in a day of playing and exploring and less of just barely surviving.

Relief. Relief that she is still here. That I somehow survived my worst nightmare. That somehow I rose above the grief, the sadness, the guilt, the loss and became the mother I never thought I could be. The one who doesn't wallow in her child's developmental delays but embraces every little milestone and victory all knowing that one day she will catch up and before long will be chasing her brother around the yard under the big birch trees.

Love. Love for a child that dragged me through the worst kind of hell. Love for lessons learned in the harshest of ways. Love for the deep connection that I have to this miracle baby and all that she has taught me about following your intuition. Believing in myself and my ways as a mother in the harshest of situations. It all led to this. This precious, sweet little girl who as fought like hell for every. single. breath.

Thank you, Zoe. Thank you for choosing me as your mother. It is an honor to be a part of such a miraculous little being who has touched the hearts of so many on your journey into this world. Your are loved so very much by all those who meet you. It's hard to believe that less than a year ago I was told you would never come home with me. That your future was hopeless. Miracles really do exist.

And so we wait. Until spring. Until our next appointment in March. Until we return to our old normal, one without worry and guilt. Where our reality is two rambunctious kids, no nurses in our house every night and day, no more doctor and therapist appointments, no more counting calories and just a whole lot of love and good old fashioned childhood.

Now go over to Alexandra's blog to see her take on low light


  1. oh Nicole!! My heart swells for joy for you and your sweet Zoe! Your photos of her are absolutely beautiful. So glad she is doing so well!!

    1. Thank you, Denean! It has been a long journey but it's nearing the end of this chapter. The next chapters will be much better, I am sure. Happy holidays to you and your family!